All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
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Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
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He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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