barbara walters just said penis...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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