Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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