Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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