Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
