Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
