I have demons in me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My penis needs a shock collar
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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