Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
