There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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