Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize