honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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