did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drake has all the answers
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
