I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
