You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
