At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
