he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
