I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
