im so drunk with asians
where?
always
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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