Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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