You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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