Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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