Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're like the curious george of whores
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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