I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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