Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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