Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
