I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
