when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
