why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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