It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize