How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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