At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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