my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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