I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
