i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I didn't notice because vodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
