She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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