I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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