I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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