??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
