how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
