I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw