If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im so drunk with asians
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night