It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
