You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
