I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i can't believe i had my finger in that
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
