She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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