Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
