Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
