Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
