so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
