Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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