Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
