New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Dick very happy bro
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
