what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
