it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
