just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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