It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
