If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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