Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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