I cannot find my penis.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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