you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
