YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
