u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
