she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no you cant smoke seaweed
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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