Sry I called you an 8
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
