somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
